The Self-Proclaimed Trier: How Remi Roy Went From Shy Introvert to Confident Speaker 🇳🇬

Lola

00:00 - 00:45

Hey there, welcome to the Kadara Woman podcast, where we amplify the untold impact-driven stories of remarkable African women making waves across the globe. I'm your host, Lola Soyebo Harris. Today's conversation is with Remi Roy, an author, entrepreneur, and a fellow podcast host who turned her journey as a shy introvert into a platform empowering other introverts to find and use their voice. She was raised by a single mother after losing her dad before birth, but Remi's story is one of resilience, faith, and intentional living. She opens up about pivotal moments that shaped her journey from unexpected childhood discoveries to becoming what she calls a self-proclaimed trier, someone who's determined to give every dream a chance.

Lola

00:46 - 01:06

This conversation is packed with advice on building confidence, living with purpose, and finding your own voice, even when you're naturally inclined to stay quiet. So let's dive into Remi's inspiring journey to becoming the driven introvert. All right. Hello, Remi. How are you?

Remi Roy

01:06 - 01:09

I'm doing well. Thank you so much.

Lola

01:10 - 01:23

So one thing I love to do is dive into the heritage of the guests. And so my very first question for you is, where are you from? What African country? And how has that influenced the woman you are today?

Remi Roy

01:24 - 02:05

Thank you so much for having me Lola. Um, this is a great question. I don't have people ask me this often, so this is, this is good. I am from Nigeria. I'm Yoruba. My mom and my dad are both from Abeokuta, Ogun State. Yeah, that's me. And then how has it influenced who I am today? I mean, it's, it's my heritage. It's, It's where I stemmed from. So all of the experiences that I have is based on how I grew up. But of course, not just the heritage in terms of tribe and country, but also the environment that I grew up in and the people that shaped me, the people that poured into me.

Remi Roy

02:06 - 02:43

at a young age and that primarily to be honest with you is my mom. I lost my dad, I should say we lost my dad before I was born so I didn't know my dad at all so my mom is like just the everything you know in terms of raising me pouring into me, I should say, and really helping me be who I am today. But ultimately, it is God, because she really gave me that foundation of faith and knowing that all that I have is from God. And I mean, she's with me today. She's actually in my house right now as I'm recording.

Remi Roy

02:43 - 02:49

I'm just thinking of it and it's sort of emotional. But yeah, that's me. That's my background.

Lola

02:49 - 03:00

Oh, wow. Sorry to hear about your dad. No problem. I can't imagine what it's like to grow up without a dad, especially before he even came into the world. He was already

Remi Roy

03:00 - 03:01

gone. Yes, yes.

Lola

03:02 - 03:06

Did you have to deal with that just growing up? Or did you have other father figures around you?

Remi Roy

03:07 - 03:42

To be honest with you, there were father figures, but I was never really close to any of them. As a matter of fact, for a long time, and this is probably not something maybe we should go down a rabbit hole in, but for a long time, I wasn't very comfortable around men. I think it's because I didn't have that really strong father figure that is always there. There were people, there were uncles and all that, but I never really had anyone that was really rock solid there. sort of informed the way that I see people and men and adults and all of that.

Remi Roy

03:42 - 04:21

But yes, it was a huge factor to really how I grew up. And I remember one particular incident. I think it's funny because I think I must have been maybe five or six or seven. I don't know. I didn't know all those years before that age that I didn't have a father. Because I think my mom, I think she always just told me, oh he traveled. I don't know why. Maybe she thought that I wasn't old enough to understand or whatever. And I remember opening up a drawer in the house and there was like stacks of old newspapers and I found an obituary.

Remi Roy

04:22 - 04:26

And it was of my dad and that was how. I found out. Oh

Lola

04:26 - 04:31

my goodness. My dad was late. Wow. Wait, so obviously his pictures are around the house.

Remi Roy

04:32 - 04:32

Yeah.

Lola

04:32 - 04:34

And then you're able to match it up. What is, do

Remi Roy

04:34 - 04:35

you have

Lola

04:35 - 04:35

any siblings?

Remi Roy

04:36 - 04:38

I have three. Yeah. We're four kids. I'm the last.

Lola

04:39 - 04:43

Oh, you're the last one. And none of the other siblings? I was

Remi Roy

04:44 - 04:58

I was so young I don't even remember like I don't even remember if any one of them ever told me or it just never registered I was you know when you're a kid you don't know what you don't know and you don't care about it you know until you know you're forced to face it so yeah.

Lola

04:58 - 05:01

And did you confront your mom when you found out?

Remi Roy

05:02 - 05:29

I don't really remember because it's been so long. I think I did. I think I did. But I don't remember what came out of that conversation. And if you know African parents, I should say Nigerian parents, because, you know, they don't really say a lot of things. Yeah. They don't dig deep into things like that. Just because maybe it's heavy. You're too young. Don't worry about it or whatever, you know. But that was just my experience. Yeah.

Lola

05:35 - 06:03

Wow. So there's something you said earlier, which is that at the end of the day, your mom was always there. You didn't feel the loss of not having a second parent. And of course she introduced you to your faith, which knowing what I know about you, the little I know about you, that's shaped who you are. But before we go too far into that lane, I wanted to know if there is anything that you thought that you remember growing up that you wanted to be, like what you wanted to become growing up? I'm

Remi Roy

06:03 - 06:03

very

Lola

06:03 - 06:05

curious about that. Oh yeah. Oh,

Remi Roy

06:05 - 06:05

you

Lola

06:05 - 06:06

said,

Remi Roy

06:06 - 06:38

oh yeah. Well, it was just one thing to be honest with you. I was going to be a doctor. Come on. I was going to be a doctor. Specifically, I was going to be a gynecologist. Now don't ask me what gynecologists do. I have no idea. But that's what I was going to be. Was it because of babies? No idea. I don't know how that thought jumped into my head. I know that my mom probably encouraged me a lot to be a doctor. I know that. But how that specific field, gynecology, I had no idea.

Remi Roy

06:39 - 06:44

I just know that at some point, I told everybody that would listen that I was going to be a gynecologist.

Lola

06:44 - 06:51

But you went to college and that was not what you did, obviously. Absolutely not. What did you study?

Remi Roy

06:53 - 06:59

I studied microbiology because I could not get into medical school.

Lola

06:59 - 07:00

Oh,

Remi Roy

07:01 - 07:10

yes. I tried to get into medical school. I could not. So I'm like, OK, what's the next best thing? I thought about everything. I looked at my options. I'm like, OK, microbiology. And that's what I did.

Lola

07:11 - 07:17

Wow. Well, we had a lady on here who tried to go to medical school. I think she applied 32 times.

Lola

07:19 - 07:20

Oh my gosh. That's

Lola

07:20 - 07:28

resilience. Resilience. Talk about resilience. I give up too soon. I wouldn't say that, but sometimes when you know, you know, right?

Remi Roy

07:28 - 07:29

Oh, you know, you know.

Lola

07:29 - 07:33

She had an amazing story of what, you know, how that showed up in her life.

Lola

07:33 - 07:34

Um,

Lola

07:34 - 07:38

but I just think it's interesting. Everybody starts out with the typical four doctor, lawyer, engineer,

Remi Roy

07:38 - 07:40

accountant, and then they deviate.

Lola

07:41 - 07:44

So you did microbiology, but I also know you're not doing microbiology today.

Remi Roy

07:44 - 07:46

I am not. You're not.

Lola

07:48 - 07:53

And then you have an expertise in graphic design, which is a totally different thing from being

Remi Roy

07:53 - 07:53

a

Lola

07:53 - 07:57

gynecologist. So how did you even get to that?

Remi Roy

07:58 - 08:27

Oh my gosh, how did I get to that? Okay, so one year into college studying microbiology I knew that okay this is I'm not gonna do this like this this makes no sense for me this is not me I just knew one year into it but of course I could not abandon ship I had to keep you know going but doing a college was when I started writing I mean, I've been writing even since secondary school, but I didn't really pay much. I didn't even know what I was doing. I just knew that is something I love to do.

Remi Roy

08:27 - 08:55

But in college was when I really started paying attention to my creativity, so to speak. I remember writing. It wasn't a story. It was just something. I don't even remember what it is. And I gave it to my friend. Her name is Tolu. And she said, this is so amazing. I'm going to show it to my brother. And her brother at the time was like the smartest person she knew. She was like, I'm going to show it to my brother. It's amazing. And I felt something in that moment. I'm like, oh. Before then, I'd never shared the things that I wrote with anyone.

Remi Roy

08:55 - 09:25

But then I was like, oh. this means something, like somebody read my stuff and likes it and wants to share with somebody, it just, it touched me in a different way. And I think that's when I really started writing more. And that's when I felt like, okay, maybe there's something here, but not in terms of like a career, because come on, I grew up in Nigeria, who wants to be a writer? But I knew that it's something I wanted to pursue. But then I had no idea what I was going to do you know, in terms of a career.

Remi Roy

09:25 - 09:39

Now, because I'm just a simple, straightforward person, I thought, okay, I'm studying microbiology right now. What could I do with this? I didn't want to do anything laboratory related, anything like hospital. I didn't want to do any healthcare kind of thing. I didn't want

Lola

09:41 - 09:42

that.

Remi Roy

09:43 - 10:16

I had no plan. I just, I just jumped into the first thing, the first program that will accept me because I had to go to college and I didn't want to just sit home and not know, you know, I had no plan. So I decided okay let me see and I looked into microbiology and I thought okay there's this industry where you could actually do like industrial microbiology or something because I did my IT uh which is a like an internship in Nigeria back then at Unilever and I worked in the in the lab and it was fun it was boring but it was fun so boring and fun I don't know how that is you know but you're getting out of the

Lola

10:16 - 10:17

house I understand I

Remi Roy

10:17 - 10:54

know right So I thought maybe I could do something like industrial microbiology related, but I still wasn't sure, to be honest with you. And that confusion, I feel like it sowed a seed that sort of continued throughout my career. A little bit, I still feel it today. It's kind of funny, right? Because I feel like since then, I've been trying to figure out who am I? What do I want to be when I grow up? And I think a lot of us feel that tension when you're not sure, or maybe you started down a path and you're like, I don't know that I'm enjoying this or I don't know that this makes sense for me.

Remi Roy

10:54 - 11:30

But we're always asking, what is that thing that I want to do with my life? And that's been sort of like the question. And it's been a good thing in a way because it's helped me be open-minded to try things. right? Because I don't know exactly what I want to do, then I'm just gonna, you know, take things for a spin and see how it feels and see, you know, what it looks like, what comes out of it. And that mindset, I think, has really helped me to just keep pivoting. It feels like, oh, it sounds good right now, the way I'm saying it, but it's very chaotic inside of you.

Remi Roy

11:30 - 11:52

When people ask you, what are you doing? What do you want to be? What's your career? And you don't have a clear answer, or you just give them an answer that doesn't really Makes sense, but you know that I just have to say something. Yeah, just end the conversation. It feels chaotic inside because you feel like you don't have direction, you don't know where you're going, and I've always felt that way, you know. So yeah, that's, you know, part of the journey

Lola

11:52 - 12:25

for me. No, so it's two things then. So you said it feels chaotic. And I can see that because if you're someone who has multiple passions, and there's something you actually said on your website that I loved actually, which was that you described yourself as a self-proclaimed trier, which means you have decided to give yourself a chance to try every single dream, every single idea, no matter how big, no matter how small. And I read that and I was like, that is so, wow. And so you have this mindset to do this. The world is asking you, what are you doing?

Lola

12:26 - 12:32

How do you reconcile both of those? Because you already had a determination to follow that curiosity. I

Remi Roy

12:32 - 13:02

mean, I feel like that determination didn't come early in my career. It didn't come early at all. It took time for me to get there. So what you're reading is something that I wrote probably about three years ago. So it took time for me to realize that, Oh, I think this is my journey. This is the way things have been. So I need to just settle into this and accept it, you know, and just know that this is the way things are. I don't always have a clear answer and I'm just going to follow that path.

Remi Roy

13:03 - 13:36

But initially, reconciling those two things was really hard because I always felt like I was lacking something. I always felt behind. I always felt like I'm not making progress. I always felt like, what am I doing with my life? It was hard to be honest with you, but it took just the ups and downs, the ups and downs of life and experiences and disappointments and confusion, disillusionment, all of that. And sometimes a little bit of clarity when things happen that I'm like, Ooh, I like the way that felt. Maybe when I published my books, for instance, I'm like, Ooh, I like the way that felt.

Remi Roy

13:36 - 14:03

I was able to do a project from beginning to the middle, to the end. And I published it. I love that. That told me, okay, I'm a self starter. I love to do things. Um, I love to figure things out by myself. Okay. I don't know how to make a career out of that, but I'll keep figuring it out. You know? So it just took a long time to get to that point where I'm like, OK, I think this is what I like to do. I like to tinker. I like to try things. I like to take things for a spin.

Remi Roy

14:03 - 14:26

I am not the kind of person that will sit at, and there's nothing wrong with that, that will have a job for years and years and years and years and years and doing the same thing. I cannot survive that. I feel like my mind will just go crazy. something to keep stimulating me, something to keep making me feel like I'm doing something new, something exciting. And I'm not like an adrenaline junkie by any

Lola

14:26 - 14:26

means.

Remi Roy

14:27 - 14:40

You know, so all of this is what I'm saying. It might be boring stuff to some people like, how is that exciting? But to me it is because I'm trying new things and I'm not stuck with one thing. So it took me a long time to just accept that this is the way things are and to be okay with that.

Lola

14:40 - 15:09

So let's stay there for a second. How did you, but I think that's a big, it's a big part of the process of figuring out what you think you're supposed to do in this world, right? But you mentioned it took you a while to get there, but what did you do specifically in that time to get there? Like what were the steps you did? Was it books you read? Was it like, how did you figure, how did you get the clarity? to be confident in like, this is who I am. I am a self-starter who likes to tinker.

Lola

15:09 - 15:16

And this is going to be my life mantra, which is I'm going to try whatever I show the desire to try. How did you get to that point?

Remi Roy

15:18 - 15:56

Sometimes it's kind of difficult to go back and reverse engineer a process, but To be honest with you, I think it was just getting up every day and knowing that I cannot give up and I cannot allow the overwhelm and sometimes the depression to take over me. Because if I let it take over me, it's going to hamper my creativity and then I cannot try stuff. And then what do I have? You know? So I think it's just knowing that I cannot give up. There's something here. There's something to my future. You have to believe that.

Remi Roy

15:57 - 16:28

You have to believe that there is a future for you, whatever that looks like. You may not know the details, you may not know what it sounds like, feels like, but you have to know and believe that there is a future for you, right? And there's something you're working toward. And I think that's just it for me. I just kept going. I just kept trying things, you know? And sometimes I would um, feel really bad when I tried something and according to my definitions, it didn't work. So now I'm back to, and I always felt like, Oh, people will look at me and say, you know, she's a flake.

Remi Roy

16:28 - 16:39

She just keeps moving from one to another, you know? So I had to let go of all of those mindsets and limiting beliefs and fears and all of that along the way. It wasn't easy. It's still not easy to be honest with you. It

Lola

16:39 - 16:44

sounds like you are doing that on your own. You were just becoming self-aware and just letting go of the, okay.

Remi Roy

16:46 - 16:46

So it wasn't a

Lola

16:47 - 16:48

therapy, it was a prayer?

Remi Roy

16:49 - 17:26

No, to be honest with you, it wasn't therapy. Oh, definitely, definitely. In terms of prayer, absolutely, because how else do I survive this life and not lose my mind without knowing that God is with me and he has a plan for me. So all of that is just growing, you know, and like you said, I love to read. I love to really find out ideas. I love to, I'm very, I'm very curious about people, so if I find someone who maybe said something, or wrote a book, or I watched a video, and they said something that really was fascinating to me, I would dig deep and find out who is this person.

Remi Roy

17:26 - 17:54

I would check out everything they ever created, and that's how I learn. And I keep digging deep and digging deep, and that's how I learn. I just like taking a lot of information that way. You know how I said, you have to know that there's a future for you? For me, that's the faith connection. I have to look at my life and take a deep breath and know that, God, I know that you have a plan for me. Right now, it feels like I am planless. It feels like I am directionless, but I have to believe that you have a plan for me.

Remi Roy

17:54 - 18:16

So holding on to that and to keep learning, because you're going to be tempted to be lazy when you don't have direction. You'll be tempted to just be like, whatever, and not really put your mind to something. But one thing I've realized is when you don't know what to do, pick one thing. It doesn't matter what it is. Please let it be legal. That's all. Let it be legal.

Lola

18:16 - 18:19

Pick something legal. Yes, legal. We are not

Remi Roy

18:19 - 18:20

advocating for that. We

Lola

18:20 - 18:22

are not committing crimes. We are not advocating

Remi Roy

18:22 - 18:58

for that. That's all. Seriously, when you don't know what to do, pick one thing. Just pick something. Something that interests you. Something that you feel like, okay, I could want to, you know, figure out something out about this and go deep on that one thing. On that journey, you will find a lot of things. You might pivot. You might go down rabbit holes. That's fine. You keep learning. That's how you find things. get out and keep searching. The problem is when a lot of people, when we feel directionless, like we don't know where we're going, we don't know what our purpose is, we're tempted to be lazy.

Remi Roy

18:58 - 19:31

We're tempted to just not do anything, to waste our time on watching TV and Netflix and all the random things because you will find all sorts of things that will keep your attention. Social media, forget it. You'll be there for like hours and hours every day. because you feel directionless. That's not what you need to do. What you need to do is figure out, okay, I want to learn something. What am I interested in? What do I want to try out? And that's how you start. And that's how you start learning. And then before you know it, it actually takes you somewhere, you know, but it's important to start on that journey of just figuring things out.

Lola

19:31 - 19:41

That is such great advice actually. And I hope, uh, people understand that. Um, so going back a couple steps, you also mentioned

Remi Roy

19:41 - 19:41

that you

Lola

19:41 - 19:43

wrote a couple of books and I think

Remi Roy

19:43 - 19:43

you

Lola

19:43 - 19:48

wrote three books, right? So what inspired you to write the very first one?

Remi Roy

19:49 - 19:51

Oh, okay. When did you

Lola

19:51 - 19:53

write it? When did you write it and what inspired

Remi Roy

19:53 - 20:30

you? So in 20, I think it was 20, 2009, either 2008 or 2009, I started a job in Lagos then working for a magazine and I was working as the managing editor and I was also writing for the magazine and during that time I was just really devouring information about books, about publishing because I mean I was working in a magazine industry so I was just you know learning a lot about that and I remember I saw, I think it was Cassava Republic, I do not remember if it was Cassava Republic, one of those publishing companies in Nigeria then.

Remi Roy

20:30 - 21:04

I read a book. And it was such a beautiful book. I don't even remember the title. And I'm telling you, it's funny. I don't remember the title. I know I will find it if I search. It was written by a Nigerian woman. And it wasn't like a Christian, but it had kind of like a Christian bend to it, to the story. It was fiction. And I love that book. And when I finished reading that book, I closed it and I held it to my heart and I'm like, I want to do this. I want to do this.

Remi Roy

21:04 - 21:36

This is amazing. And then I think I stretched. probably online or somewhere. And I realized that, okay, it was a Cassava Republic published book. And then I went to Cassava Republic, their website, and I figured out that, okay, they are taking submissions. You can submit a manuscript and they will consider publishing. I'm like, okay, this is it. So I started writing. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna write a book. I'm gonna write a story. And I started writing. And that was how my first book, Miss Unlikely, was started and that was sometime around 2010 was when I started writing.

Remi Roy

21:36 - 22:08

It took me a long time to finish it and of course when I finished it I didn't turn it in to Cassava Republic for whatever reason. I think somehow I was afraid like nobody's gonna want this. I'm like I'm just gonna publish it. I thought that was a submission. There was, but I never submitted it. I don't know why. I need to check my journals and stuff. Maybe I wrote anything about it, because I'm always writing random stuff. Maybe I wrote something about why I did not submit it. I don't remember. Or maybe I did.

Remi Roy

22:08 - 22:32

Now it's so fuzzy. But I remember that I didn't go ahead with any serious publishing, and I decided, to do it myself. And I actually ended up doing it myself when I moved to the States, because I realized how easy it was to actually publish a book, you know, if you were here. So I'm like, okay, I'm just going to do that. I'm just going to publish it. So that's how the first book, you know, got written. Yeah.

Lola

22:32 - 22:34

And then you wrote a couple of books after that.

Remi Roy

22:35 - 22:35

Yeah.

Lola

22:35 - 22:45

And then, um, I also know that you started something called Sheep Hacked. And I want you to talk about Sheep Hacked and how you got to creating that platform.

Remi Roy

22:47 - 23:19

okay so gosh between the books and cheap act was a lot of things It was a lot of random things. It was blogs. It was like YouTube. It was doing like just magazine type things. You know, one-off things that I would do. It was just all sorts of things. And you were here in the States by then, right? Yes. Yes. I was in the States by then. I moved to the States in 2013 to do my master's program. And that was another piece of the puzzle because I did my master's in emerging media and communication.

Remi Roy

23:19 - 24:02

And that environment was a very creative environment. And I learned a lot. And that's when I really got interested in new media, and audio, and video, and all of that. But I started ShePacked with a friend in 2023. And it was funny, because during that time, I'd just always known that I wanted to build something. It's a feeling that I had that I could not shake. But I didn't know what it was. And I remember in 2016, I started a podcast, and I gave up on that podcast. But I knew I wanted to come back to it.

Remi Roy

24:02 - 24:42

And that's another piece of the puzzle. But 2023, at that time, it was COVID. We're coming out of COVID. I just had a baby. I had my baby in 2022. And I'd had this idea. The funny thing is, she packed. it's been like a funny journey, so to speak, because when I look at my journals, I started writing about QIPA sometime in 2017. I thought about, I wanted to create like a community for women that will focus on training and like, you know, workshops and things, creativity, something that just helps them And it was kind of ephemeral in my mind.

Remi Roy

24:42 - 25:13

It wasn't very concrete, but something that helped them to learn, to grow and figure out what they wanted to do with their lives, all of that kind of thing. But it never took form and I never could start it because I didn't know what it was. It just felt too loose. Like, what is this thing? So 2023, I started to dream again and I brought out my journal and I started to write and I'm like, okay, I think I know what this is. I am an introvert. I've always been an introvert. And I used to be a very, very painfully shy introvert.

Remi Roy

25:13 - 25:46

The kind of introvert that would not talk to anybody. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was afraid. That's the kind of introvert I was. So I had been growing And just learning and just getting really better at communication, understanding myself, knowing my purpose, my why, knowing how to, you know, connect with other people. I've been growing. So I wanted to create a platform to help people like me, you know, who had the same struggles. you know, meet with other people, grow and learn and all of that. So that's how ShePath came to be.

Remi Roy

25:46 - 26:05

And it's a platform for driven introverts who are ready to step up with courage and pursue their big God ideas. Because, I mean, I have ideas all day, right? But I had to figure out how to be the kind of person that wants to be out there to pursue my ideas. So that's why I created ShePath and that's what ShePath is about.

Lola

26:06 - 26:10

And then where does the podcast, your second podcast, come into play? And do you

Remi Roy

26:10 - 26:11

want to talk about the

Lola

26:11 - 26:11

name?

Remi Roy

26:12 - 26:48

Yes, so my podcast is called The Driven Introvert. Go figure, it's very simple. And yeah, the podcast came to be because when we started Cheap Act, we decided to Do interviews to interview women, you know, and just have those kinds of conversations. And then while I was working on the interview piece, I thought, what am I doing? This is a podcast. Like, yeah, I can interview women. And then what? I'm going to write an article and put it on the website. Yeah, I could do that. But why not just also make it into a podcast?

Remi Roy

26:48 - 27:13

Why don't just make it a podcast first kind of like conversation? And then I remembered that, yes, I've always wanted to go back to podcasting because I had one in 2016 that I gave up on. And I decided, okay, this is, I think this is it. This is it. We're going to do a podcast. And I thought about it. How do I create it? What is the focus? And I'm like, okay, it's just going to be the same theme around cheap act and helping driven introverts. And yeah, that's how the podcast came to be.

Lola

27:14 - 27:20

Cool. I love that. And I think that I'm glad you did, because obviously we wouldn't have met if we didn't have a podcast.

Remi Roy

27:20 - 27:20

So

Lola

27:20 - 27:35

it was good. It was good that you did that. So recently, and you talked about being a painfully shy introvert. So this question is more around your recent gig. Actually, you recently did a talk at Texas Women University.

Lola

27:36 - 27:36

And

Lola

27:36 - 27:39

as an introvert or as you proclaim, because it's very hard

Remi Roy

27:39 - 27:40

to be

Lola

27:40 - 27:51

an introvert. How do you And this is for all the introverts listening, how do you navigate speaking engagements and public events? What do you do to calm yourself down, to be comfortable,

Remi Roy

27:51 - 27:51

to

Lola

27:51 - 27:55

be authentic to yourself and also do your speaking gig?

Remi Roy

27:56 - 28:30

Yeah, this is a great question. And I'm actually working on content for this, for my podcast, because I think it's something that I just wanted to really share my experience and the things that have helped me. I think the journey starts way before you get that speaking engagement. The journey starts way before that. The journey starts way before you actually become the kind of person that people say, hey, come speak. That's way before then. You have to know in your mind that this is what I want to do. I think that's the missing piece that a lot of us don't get to.

Remi Roy

28:30 - 29:09

We haven't decided what we want to do. do you want to be a speaker? Okay fine you want to be a speaker. Now how do you become that person that people will be like hey come speak you know and that that would determine how you prepare yourself, how you fix your mindset, how you really figure out okay what are my weaknesses, what are the areas where I struggle and how can I learn, how can I grow in this area. I had to do a lot of things. I had to really, like I've said before, believe that there's a future for me here as a speaker, even though it's the biggest area that I have struggled in the past is communication.

Remi Roy

29:09 - 29:38

And sometimes the enemy, speaking in very faith terms here, will try to use the very thing that I believe that the Lord wants to use you to really bless others, he will use that as a way to attack you. And that's exactly how I felt. Because I always felt like my voice doesn't matter. I always felt like nobody cares what you have to say, which is why I would sit in the back of a room and never want to speak and be afraid to talk because I don't have anything to say, but I do have something to say.

Remi Roy

29:38 - 30:13

I know that now, but I didn't always know that. So you have to be the kind of person that decides, I want to go after this. I want this, right? And if you right now are dealing with, maybe you're really shy or you get really nervous in spaces where you want to speak up and all that, it's fine that you're there, but make the decision that you don't want to stay there. That's the first thing. And then look for, Um, uh, resources look for people who can help you. Uh, it's also very important for you to, when you decide to start taking concrete steps to doing that.

Remi Roy

30:14 - 30:43

So if you are in a space, maybe at work and you know, it's a meeting and you don't like to talk in these meetings because you feel like, Oh, you know, I don't know if I'm going to sound, how people are going to perceive me or all of that. Um, you have to push yourself, right? You have to, Do something that will get you out of your comfort zone. So one thing I always do is I do some sort of preemptive preparations when I was doing my master's program. This was a big deal for me because I was so afraid.

Remi Roy

30:43 - 31:15

I mean, I was just it was like culture shock. I came from Nigeria. And they just dumped me in a class with so many smart people. I'm like, what is going on? I do not even understand half of what my professor just said. How do I answer the questions? How do I do the class participation thing? You know, and all of that. So I had to do some preemptive planning. So every time before I went to class, I would have read the material. And I will write down points that I totally understand that, or at least I have an inkling what this is, and I can talk about this, or I can ask a question.

Remi Roy

31:15 - 31:54

I'm always prepared. So that when the time came, I would raise my hand, and I would deliver my very prepared mini speech because I know that I am not the on-the-fly kind of person. So I always prepare and sometimes people feel like oh it's disingenuous for you to do that. Preparation is important. If that is what is going to help you, prepare. I remember When I was doing my master's program and one of my professors, she actually had one of my other classmates come to me for help with her paper because she said she was from another country too and she didn't speak very good English.

Remi Roy

31:55 - 32:33

So, and she struggled with the papers, with the presentations and everything. But because I had been doing quite well with my papers and my presentations, she told her to come to me to see if I could give her some tips, you know, and that happened. because I prepared every time because I didn't wing it right so she was able to say oh you were doing well with this you know why don't you help someone else and it was my honor you know to really help her and just give her some tips and all of that so it's important for you to prepare always prepare even if it's it's at work and you are in a meeting and you know you don't want to be like that person that just sits in a corner and doesn't say anything prepare something Right?

Remi Roy

32:33 - 33:15

And just say it, you know, prepare it and say it and just be bold. I know it's easy to be bold, but you have to start somewhere. And that was my experience. I had to start somewhere and I just kept trying. And every opportunity that I had to say something, even if it was one word, you know, or say something to someone, I would just try and perk up a little and say that thing. And it gets easier the more you do it. You get used to the sound of your own voice, you know? So the more you do that, The more you get better you know i also invested in a communication coach i invested in a coach and i did a couple sessions with her and you know and part of it is you have things in your mind but when you say it sometimes it doesn't reflect what exactly you want it to say.

Remi Roy

33:15 - 33:44

And if you're a nervous person, it's very easy for that to happen to you. It gets jumbled up in your mind and before it gets to your mouth and you're actually presenting or saying this, you're not very coherent, you're not saying it properly and then you start fidgeting and then it gets worse. So you want to prepare and having somebody to kind of help you through that process was very helpful for me. And she kind of looked through some of my talks and things that I've done. And then she would ask me questions, give me strategies on, okay, think about it this way.

Remi Roy

33:44 - 33:58

What are you trying to say? What do you want them to get out of what you're saying? And things like that will help you become better. So showing up, deciding that this is really what you want for yourself, showing up, taking the little steps every day, preparing, all of that is important.

Lola

33:59 - 34:12

I love it. That is such a great way to summarize everything you just said. And it actually made me remember one of these self-help books that I read a while back. It was one of those books where they could have just done with one chapter and PDF and

Remi Roy

34:12 - 34:12

it would

Lola

34:12 - 34:46

be fine. But the big takeaway I got from that book, and I can't remember the book. I know it was a blue cover and I even tried to do it as an audio book and it was not working. But the big takeaway was like, buy yourself time. Sometimes when you're being called to do something off the cuff and you're not a winger, some people are natural wingers, but if you're like, I'm also one of those people, I need to prepare before I do anything, even if it's just five minutes, buy yourself time. So even if you're a boss at work, like you said, if they tell you, you know, I needed to do this presentation in 30 minutes, You could buy yourself and like, can I get 45 or an hour?

Remi Roy

34:46 - 34:46

Just buy

Lola

34:46 - 34:50

yourself time to get into the mindset, to go deliver what you need to deliver.

Remi Roy

34:50 - 34:51

Because

Lola

34:51 - 34:54

obviously the capability is there. They wouldn't have asked you to do it. But

Remi Roy

34:54 - 34:54

for

Lola

34:54 - 35:09

you to show up as the best of you, you may have to do that extra step of preparing. So I love the fact that you pretty much gave a very practical advice, which is take the time to prepare and leverage that and go in. It doesn't have to be a weakness. You don't have to compare

Remi Roy

35:09 - 35:09

yourself

Lola

35:10 - 35:12

to the wingers. There are people who are good at winging. It's

Remi Roy

35:12 - 35:12

a

Lola

35:12 - 35:26

skill and there's a place and time for that. And so let's switch gears here because you also talked about something that is near and dear to my heart, which is part of why I wanted to start this platform was the mindset. There's a lot of stuff that's happening in the mind that gets you to where

Remi Roy

35:26 - 35:26

you need

Lola

35:26 - 35:26

to get to.

Lola

35:27 - 35:27

And

Lola

35:27 - 35:37

so, and you've talked about this already, you've touched on some of the things you've done. to give yourself opportunities, like speaking opportunities, which is very far removed from being a shy introvert.

Remi Roy

35:38 - 35:38

But I'm

Lola

35:38 - 35:43

also curious the other side of how you've pushed yourself through difficult times.

Remi Roy

35:46 - 36:35

Oh my gosh. That's, that's a big one because, and I don't know if you intended to go there, but I've had some very difficult times. I am telling you, I've had some challenges that I don't even know where to begin. And the truth is, every time I get hit with a big challenge like that, it breaks me a little. And I find myself floundering, and I find myself feeling a little despondent and maybe even depressed. But the aftermath of that experience every single time is that somehow I find a way to get better. I find a way to get up, dust myself off, and I feel like I'm stronger because of that experience.

Remi Roy

36:35 - 37:12

It's not always easy to have that perspective. It's not always easy to accept it, that somehow good can come out of this difficult situation. But that's what I've had to do and that's what I've learned to do. I remember telling one of my friends this and I was getting ready to share about my fertility journey and she was asking me questions. I'm like, okay, but how? Okay, so you said after going through this and then you come back and you're better and your faith is stronger, like how? There's some things that are kind of, I know, right?

Remi Roy

37:12 - 37:47

There's some things that are kind of difficult to explain, you know, but I will not, there's no way I can talk about it without talking about the power of prayer and actually just trusting God and deciding that this is it for me. I trust God and whatever happens, I will keep trusting him, you know, because that's where my strength comes from. And I think knowing that it's like half of the battle. right because you you struggle with the fact that he's got good does he love me why is this happening to me But I put to rest the fact that I know he loves me.

Remi Roy

37:47 - 38:13

I know he's good. All of that is clear to me. So if this is hard and this is killing me right now, there must be a reason. And there must be something good that can come out of this. And I try to take that mindset in every area of my life, even with my career. When things feel confusing, like I don't know what I'm doing, I just have to believe that there's something good coming out of the situation.

Lola

38:14 - 38:29

First of all, I'm just getting a lot of the confidence in how you're speaking. And it's amazing that you keep anchoring the back on your faith and your prayer life. And I think that's amazing. And I think it's a, if anything, it's a way to just,

Remi Roy

38:30 - 38:30

you know,

Lola

38:30 - 38:44

if I had to step out and talk in a faith-based language, it's just amplifying the glory of God in your life, really. And I think that's just, that's just inspiring in itself. And by the way, one of the good things that came out was you do have a baby boy, right? So

Remi Roy

38:44 - 38:46

that's one big

Lola

38:46 - 38:46

good one.

Remi Roy

38:47 - 38:47

But if

Lola

38:47 - 38:55

anything, like you said, even going through that one experience just gave you the strength to overcome anything else that would come your way,

Lola

38:56 - 38:56

sounds

Lola

38:56 - 39:03

like, and I can see that in how you're speaking. You're just so self-assured. There's a lot of awareness that you go

Lola

39:03 - 39:03

through,

Lola

39:04 - 39:19

and then that's part of the mindset game. The other thing I wanted to ask you about was something you said, which is about living your life intentionally. You talk about that, and I wanted to know, for you, what does that mean in practical terms?

Remi Roy

39:21 - 39:47

Oh, I think in practical terms is asking myself, what am I doing? Where am I going? What is happening in my life right now? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? It's being self-aware, like you said, because I feel a lot of us drift through life. You know, we just drift. We don't want to think too much. We don't want to try too much because it's so, it's so difficult trying so much. Like, why are you trying so much? Why am I trying so much? What am I trying to do? It's not to have a job.

Remi Roy

39:47 - 40:20

Who sent you? Who sent you? What's the big deal? You just have a job. It pays you. You live life. Finish. I want more than that. I'm sorry. I want more than that. I want to make a positive impact with my life. I want to do things that help people. I want to do things that make people feel like, oh yeah, Remi was here, and that was an amazing experience I had. I think it's very important to think about our life that way. And even with our families, not just external, oh, the world, you want to touch the world.

Remi Roy

40:20 - 40:55

No, we'll start with our families. What are we doing? Are we intentional in our marriages? And that's another big one. What are you doing? What are you? How are you living with your spouse? What do you guys believe together? How are you moving towards the future together? Or are you just like, oh, whatever, whatever? No. So I just want to live a life that makes sense, so to speak, that is going somewhere. And I think that the practical way to do that is to ask yourself questions, is to reflect If you go through an experience, ask yourself, okay, what do I think about this?

Remi Roy

40:56 - 41:25

What am I feeling about this? How can I make this better? How can I improve my life in very concrete ways? And it's in that reflection that you come up with some answers. Oh, maybe I need to exercise more. Maybe I haven't been feeling great. It might seem like a simple thing, but that's where it starts. Because if you never reflect, you never take those concrete steps that makes your life better. Maybe I need to read more. Maybe I need to expand my horizon. maybe I need to grow more in terms of meeting people, you know, and being more confident.

Remi Roy

41:25 - 41:49

And that's one thing I needed to do, which is why I went to the conference where we met. Because on a good day, I would never have done something like that. But I knew that I needed to grow. One decision that I made two years ago, well, a year ago when I started podcast was I want to go deep in the podcasting industry. You know, I said, when you don't know what to do, pick one thing and go deep. That's what I did. I'm like, I want to go deep. And I decided, how do you go deep?

Remi Roy

41:50 - 42:21

I reflected and I asked myself, how do you go deep? Okay, you learn. You listen to podcasts, you listen to podcasts about podcasts. You learn about podcasts. I know you geek out. You go to the podcasting events. I'm like, okay. And I got an opportunity. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do this. I'm going to go. I'm going to fly to Florida and I'm going to meet people. that I've never met before, who are strangers, and I'm going to be awkward, it's going to be weird, but it's going to be fun. And you decide, and you take a step, and you ask yourself, what do I want my life to be this year?

Remi Roy

42:21 - 42:53

Okay, I want to improve at my job. What do I need to do to improve at my job? Maybe I need to read more books, maybe I need to find a mentor. It's simply that. asking yourself questions, reflecting, and then taking steps and not being lazy, and not being lazy, when it's time for you to take those steps, actually take that step, reach out to people, find a resource, do the thing, read the book, finish the book, whatever it is, you know, so I think that's the practical way that I do it to live an intentional life is reflecting and taking steps that I need to take that will move me forward.

Lola

42:54 - 42:58

And you also mentioned this earlier, it also sounds like you do a lot of journaling as well, which I think

Remi Roy

42:58 - 42:58

is

Lola

42:58 - 43:01

part of that reflective exercise as well. So I'm

Remi Roy

43:01 - 43:02

sure you have

Lola

43:02 - 43:03

stacks and stacks of journals.

Remi Roy

43:03 - 43:03

I

Lola

43:03 - 43:04

do.

Remi Roy

43:05 - 43:07

And I love to go back to them. And did you write a

Lola

43:07 - 43:09

journal too, a creative journal?

Remi Roy

43:09 - 43:12

Yes, I did. That's my third book. There you go, that

Lola

43:12 - 43:13

was your third

Remi Roy

43:13 - 43:13

book.

Lola

43:14 - 43:31

I think you've given a lot of great advice. And now we're going to actually, actually before we do that, because I usually ask this in the lightning realm, but I have a feeling we might have more questions. So I'm going to ask you, what is that one book that has influenced you apart from the Bible? Apart

Lola

43:31 - 43:33

from the Bible, that's influenced

Lola

43:33 - 43:40

you and the way you just show up every single day being intentional and just coming out of your shell. Again,

Remi Roy

43:40 - 43:40

it's very

Lola

43:40 - 43:42

hard speaking to you that you are

Remi Roy

43:42 - 43:42

a

Lola

43:42 - 43:47

shy introvert. It's just, I was just like, I don't know.

Remi Roy

43:47 - 43:49

I know, people tell me that now, but yeah.

Lola

43:50 - 43:53

But yeah, what is the one book that has influenced you? Or if you have two books you can share.

Remi Roy

43:54 - 44:03

Yeah, I think the one that I really love is called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. The War of Art, because everybody's used to

Lola

44:03 - 44:03

The Art of War.

Remi Roy

44:04 - 44:38

I know, right? By Cao Su or something? Yeah, Sun Tzu. This is The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. And he talks about one concept there that I think everybody should pay attention to. He talks about the resistance. The resistance is the thing that keeps you from doing the thing. We all have the thing we wish we could do. If you ask anybody, you know, even the laziest person, sorry to use that word because I've been lazy too. I know what it feels like. Even the laziest person, if you ask them, they have something they would rather, Oh yeah, it'd be fun to do this.

Remi Roy

44:38 - 45:13

But there is something called the resistance that will keep you from doing that thing. That thing might be a part of your purpose. That thing might be a part of the thing that will actually make your life, um, I don't know, amazing, or worthwhile, or impactful, or whatever. But there is a resistance that will keep you from doing that thing, and it comes in different forms. You have to decide what that looks like for you so that you know that, oh, this is, you know when it's happening, so to speak, right? It's the thing that will make you feel like, yeah, I want to write a book, but you never get to write in it, or because of this other thing, because of this mindset, because, oh, whatever it is, right?

Remi Roy

45:14 - 45:44

So I think that book really touched me because it made me realize and I was already kind of like a driven person when I read this book but I feel like it 10x'd my drive because now I realize that oh when I'm feeling this way, this is the resistance and I have to figure out how to overcome it. One funny thing that happens when you want to put something out into the world, say you want to launch something, And you've been working on it for so long. You've been trying, you've been doing all of it.

Remi Roy

45:44 - 46:11

And then the time comes for you to actually launch the thing. You've done all the work. You've done all the work in the background. You just need to launch it. You find yourself hesitating. You find yourself holding back. You just can't get yourself to push that final button to say go. Why? and you come up with all sorts of questions, all sorts of feelings, you know, it's the resistance. And a lot of people get to that stage and never launch the thing. That's why people tell you, oh, I've written books, but I've never published it.

Remi Roy

46:12 - 46:35

Or I've did this, but I never showed anybody. I never, the last smile, so to speak, for you to get off that hump and do the thing, you find yourself holding back. So it's things like that that a book teaches you and how to really recognize. It's a simple book. It's an easy read that will really help you recognize when you are wasting your time or you're not paying attention to the thing that's actually moving you forward. So I really recommend that book.

Lola

46:35 - 46:41

that is wow that is so spot i mean i talk about right about to launch i had that

Remi Roy

46:41 - 46:41

experience with

Lola

46:41 - 46:42

the podcast

Lola

46:42 - 46:44

i know and uh you don't know what it

Lola

46:44 - 47:15

is and what kind of what kind of evil spirits Oh, all things are happening the week of the launch of this podcast, but that's a whole different story. All right, so let's do the fun part. I call this the lightning round, and there's no wrong answer. Just whatever comes to mind. I will try my best not to ask more questions in that process. So this is my rule for myself. Let me hold that mirror and talk to myself. But really, it's just a fun way to, you know, get another side of Remi, pretty much.

Lola

47:15 - 47:15

All

Lola

47:15 - 47:20

right, you ready? All right, so what is your personal mantra? What words do you live by?

Remi Roy

47:21 - 47:30

Oh my gosh, what words do I live by? Trust God, take courage, and pursue your big ideas.

Lola

47:31 - 47:32

Ooh, that's good. That could be a shirt.

Remi Roy

47:34 - 47:34

I know, right?

Lola

47:34 - 47:34

All

Lola

47:36 - 47:40

right, what matters most to you? Basically, what do you hope your legacy will be?

Remi Roy

47:40 - 48:05

Oh gosh, that I love God with all my heart. Um, that I was able to live a life that points all this to him and not just me, because what's the point at the end of the day, it's not about me. I, I, I cannot go through all of the things I've gone through in this life and lose out on the opportunity to spend eternity with my savior. It's just not possible. So that's, that's the most important thing.

Lola

48:05 - 48:08

Good, good, good, good. Your greatest fear. Oh,

Remi Roy

48:11 - 48:44

Gosh. Okay, it's, it's been different at different, you know, stages of my life. One of my greatest fears was that I was going to be old and grey. And then maybe I will have a child at a very old age. I don't know why I felt that way. Like, absolutely like Sarah. I don't know why I felt that way, because I went through infertility for almost 10 years. So the fear that I carried with me, I knew I was going to have kids. It's funny. I knew I was going to have kids. At least I was going to have a kid.

Remi Roy

48:44 - 48:58

But I was like, when, though? Like when I'm old, and then I won't be able to run around with my kids, and I'll be like, my bones will be creaking. Come, let me play with you. I'll be able to keep up. Why did you have to sound

Lola

48:58 - 48:59

like a creepy old woman, though?

Remi Roy

49:01 - 49:03

that's where it was my head

Lola

49:05 - 49:25

oh my gosh okay sorry i was not expecting that answer oh okay okay okay if you were going to just if you're going to describe yourself not as an old woman by the way if you're going to describe yourself as a kadawoman what three words would you say

Remi Roy

49:25 - 49:50

hmm Uh, I would definitely use driven. I would say excellence because I strive for that. I try to strive for that in all that I do. And, um, gosh, I would say impact because it has to make sense for someone else beyond me.

Lola

49:51 - 49:59

So you guys did your own version of DEI just so you know, driven, excellence and impact. I know, I was just

Lola

49:59 - 50:02

letting you know. It's okay, the world can

Lola

50:02 - 50:04

shut down DEI, but we will always come up with our own.

Lola

50:04 - 50:05

We'll come up with our own for

Lola

50:05 - 50:11

sure. All right, what was the last thing you learned or what are you learning now?

Remi Roy

50:11 - 50:44

Wow, what am I learning now? I am learning how to really be in community with other people. Community has never been very easy for me, maybe because of the introvert thing, I don't know. But I'm learning to be in community with other people. I'm learning to also know how to champion community, which really is being genuinely interested in other people's success and advancement and doing something to make that happen. So that's a big one for me right

Lola

50:44 - 50:45

now. That is good. You

Remi Roy

50:46 - 50:46

should take a

Lola

50:46 - 50:55

note from that page. All right. If you had to go back in time and you could talk to your 20 year old self, because I'm going to assume that you're older than 20.

Remi Roy

50:56 - 51:01

Please make that assumption. I would not confirm or deny. Well, I wouldn't just

Lola

51:01 - 51:02

assume, but if you could

Remi Roy

51:02 - 51:02

go

Lola

51:02 - 51:06

back in time and talk to a 20 year old self, what would you tell her?

Remi Roy

51:06 - 51:17

Oh, I would tell her that buckle up. it gets more challenging, but you're going to get better in the process. Ooh,

Lola

51:18 - 51:21

that is. Yeah.

Remi Roy

51:22 - 51:22

Okay.

Lola

51:23 - 51:28

And this one, um, what would you say is your greatest accomplishment or achievement to date?

Remi Roy

51:29 - 52:20

Ooh, I don't know that I have a greatest, but, um, maybe one thing. Yeah. Maybe one thing that, Gosh, this is hard. Greatest accomplishment. I was gonna say my son, but come that that was good. I was not me. So I'm going to just keep that on the table. Because it does, right? Yeah, it would probably be a close second. But I mean, I feel like This is hard for me for some reason. I think it's being able to push through the fears, the limitations, the limiting beliefs, all of the craziness in my head, the anxiety, the nervousness, and decide to pursue the kind of life that I really want to live.

Remi Roy

52:21 - 52:47

Because if I had been going down the trajectory that I was, I'm letting myself just continue to be a very shy and nervous, you know, anxiety weed in person. I don't think that I will be able to do the things that I'm doing today. So I think it was a big deal for me to make that, to decide that I needed to change and grow. Yeah, it'll probably be

Lola

52:47 - 52:54

that. And we didn't even talk about this, but I'm curious, when did you have that moment when you're like, I'm not going to be the shy, introverted person?

Remi Roy

52:56 - 53:43

It's hard. I've always wanted to not be that person. It's just, I felt overwhelmed and I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I could figure out how to build my confidence. I didn't think I could do it. But I think the pivotal point for me was probably sometime after my first podcast. Probably sometimes around 2017, so to speak. I started a job then and it was so overwhelming. I didn't like the job itself, but it was difficult for me to engage the way I would have wanted to engage on that job. And that's one of the reasons, one of the times that I realized that, Remi, you need to figure this out.

Remi Roy

53:44 - 54:11

Like you're in this space, you're not maximizing your presence in this place. You're not making any impact. You're just here looking and just being like, I don't know what I'm, no, no, no, no. You have to figure out a way to show up with confidence. And that's another story for another day. But that question in my head and that reflection process made me realize that the best way for me to show up is when I'm doing something that I love. When I'm doing something that I am, it feels like a round peg in a round hole.

Remi Roy

54:12 - 54:18

And working in digital marketing at the time, I was a square peg in a squiggly, weird hole.

Lola

54:18 - 54:20

That was like me as an engineer. I

Remi Roy

54:20 - 54:25

know, right? We all have that experience. I knew that, oh, this is not going to work. So yeah.

Lola

54:26 - 54:30

Wow. Well, sounds like we have to do a version two to get into that

Lola

54:30 - 54:31

because

Lola

54:32 - 54:43

I think it still sounds like you were just uber self-aware and you, you talked your way out of it because, and I mean you got resources and all that, but it was a lot of self-reflection

Lola

54:43 - 54:44

that got you into

Lola

54:44 - 54:53

that. This is what I'm going to do. Um, so I completely butchered my lightning round, but in an effort to get back on track,

Lola

54:53 - 54:54

last question,

Lola

54:54 - 55:10

looking back now on the whole journey, What would you say, actually now I have two questions, what would you say is the continuous thread in your life looking back in every single thing that you've gone through? What would you say has just shown up consistently for you?

Remi Roy

55:12 - 55:19

Hmm. Gosh. I think it's trying and failing and trying again. I think that's it.

Lola

55:19 - 55:21

Trying.

Remi Roy

55:21 - 55:33

Yes. That's it. Trying and maybe not hitting the mark and feeling like, okay, I need to give it another shot or give something else, a new shot, whatever. Just trying and not giving up. Yeah. I think that's it.

Lola

55:33 - 55:41

Oh, I like that. Okay. Last question then. What would you say about destiny and your journey to pursuing your own purpose?

Remi Roy

55:43 - 56:19

I think, as far as I'm concerned, destiny is wrapped up in just God's will for you, God's plan for you, God's purpose for you. And then all of us individually have our, you know, destinies and things, but we're all also now part of this big idea that God has. And for me, it's finding that place where you belong, finding the thing that he has for you and I mean, the beautiful and amazing journey is to actually go on that journey and find that thing. No matter how hard the journey will be for you in figuring it out, just keep on that journey.

Remi Roy

56:19 - 56:33

And that's the thing for me is I know that God has a plan for my life. I know that there are things that I'm meant to do in this world, and I want to keep figuring it out so that I get to the point where at the end of the day, I did it all. I left nothing on the table, you know, and all glory to God.

Lola

56:34 - 56:41

I love that. And that is a great way to wrap up an amazing conversation with you, Remi. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Remi Roy

56:41 - 56:43

Thank you so much for having me.

Lola

56:43 - 56:47

No, this was amazing. Thank you. And I got some laughs and now

Remi Roy

56:47 - 56:48

I have

Lola

56:48 - 56:51

this image of I hope Remi's story

Lola

56:51 - 56:53

resonated with someone today. Her journey from a painfully shy

Lola

56:53 - 56:54

introvert

Remi Roy

56:54 - 56:54

to a

Lola

56:54 - 56:57

confident speaker and author reminds us all

Remi Roy

56:57 - 56:58

that

Lola

56:58 - 57:00

limitations are often just starting points

Remi Roy

57:00 - 57:00

for growth.

Lola

57:14 - 58:00

What stood out to me was Remi's emphasis on preparation, reflection, and taking that very first small step. So if you're someone who's struggling with confidence or trying to, you know, find your purpose, facing life's obstacles, her advice to pick one thing and go deep with it is something that we can all apply. Remember, as Remi said, trust God, take courage and pursue those big ideas. Sometimes the most beautiful destinations come after the most challenging journeys. If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a review and share with someone who might need this message. And be sure to subscribe to the Kadai Woman podcast on your favorite platform and also follow us on social media at Kadara Woman for more inspiring stories.

Lola

58:01 - 58:08

Until next time, this is Lola reminding you that your Kadara moment of clarity may have already happened and all you need to do is embrace it.